


Strawberries and cigarettes always taste like you

by Dancing_Fangirl



Series: I can't stop loving you, Whatever you want to do [Idol Producer/Nine Percent Drabbles] [1]
Category: NINE PERCENT (Band), 乐华七子NEXT | NEX7, 奔跑吧 | Keep Running (China TV)
Genre: How Do I Tag, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, M/M, Unrequited Love, cai xukun centered, its going to be alright, its just a bunch of kuns feelings, kun just needs to learn to love, there inst much to tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-01
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-13 19:32:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29781021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dancing_Fangirl/pseuds/Dancing_Fangirl
Summary: cai xukun hasn't seen all of the nine percent members in a while. xiao gui he talked to a couple times when filming youthwithyou. and ziyi who he talked to everyday. and justin now, on running man with him (who he couldn't even look at because he just held too many memories of something. someone)"because before he had caught feelings and he had convinced zhengting to give them a try (a futile attempt, and he knew zhengting was only trying to trick himself), there was wenjun."or where xukun contemplates his feelings, what hes avoiding, zhengting, ziyi, his relationships, and how he's doing better, all during the filming break of running man with justin on the other side of the room texting his group members.disclaimers :: title from strawberry and cigarettes by troye sivan, i don't own it. this is a work of fiction and the setting and characters do not reflect reality.
Relationships: Bi Wenjun/Zhu Zhengting | Jung Jung, Cai Xukun/Wang Ziyi, Cai Xukun/Zhu Zhengting | Jung Jung, chengstin are mentioned once, zhangjing and yanjun are hinted to once
Series: I can't stop loving you, Whatever you want to do [Idol Producer/Nine Percent Drabbles] [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2188905
Kudos: 2





	Strawberries and cigarettes always taste like you

running man was an exhausting show to film, with everybody running around, always trying to outwit the others. and there was the constant fear of not being enough, especially surrounded by respected seniors of the entertainment industry who had years upon years to get to know each other. but seeing them and filming with them opened his eyes to something else completely, because the people he had seen on screen didn’t seem to be the same people he met (and that was when he realized that everybody in the entire industry had a persona up). 

when they announced the filming break and everybody took out their phones, collapsing to the nearest chairs, some of the older members took attention to the younger cast members. zheng kai dragged some people over to justin who was eagerly typing on his phone. li chen didn’t approach them (of course he wasn’t, everybody knew justin was talking to his boyfriend, and the last time li chen had seen the young couple was when still engaged to said boyfriends sister back when she was scandal free) but a good amount of others did. 

and so they sat around the youngest as he talked to them, natural humour shining through as he praised his group members (talking about how hardworking and talented they all were, sharing the funny things they sent) while texting them at the same time. and cai xukun would approach them if he wasn’t too tired to keep his public image up. 

but he just couldn’t reach justin’s eyes. not when he knew he was texting the next group chat (giving them updates, and chengcheng would probably tease him in the main chat but privately message him affirmations of love. and zeren telling some jokes that justin would respond to with another one of his owns. and quanzhe silently reading, choosing to ignore the chaos) and, talking with people he used to be so close with. with somebody he thought he used to be so close with. 

because before he had caught feelings and he had convinced zhengting to give them a try (a futile attempt, and he knew zhengting was only trying to trick himself), there was wenjun. bi wenjun who was taller, could sing better, and most importantly, was more in touch with zhengting then him. wenjun who had been zhengtings first (and probably only) love, wenjun who had been his only constant for years. and after zhengting admitted that he was only fooling himself by leading kun on, and ended whatever it was they had, wenjun was there too. he was everywhere, even when he wasn’t in their group. 

and then the fight happened- dividing up their group. the fight whether next should have activities while nine percent still promoted, whether they were dividing the group between the yuehuas and everybody else. the fight that ultimately, broke their group, leading to the inevitable early disbandment. 

everybody reacted differently. yanjun and zhangjing kept to themselves like they always had, and by extent so did linong. linkai was close enough with justin and chengcheng, and while he didn’t side with them (because yuehua was yuehua, and nobody was as close as them), there was no asking if he was standing with the other side, kun, who had started the fight (because there was no chance he was). and of course ziyi. sweet, kind, too good for the world wang ziyi who sided with kun no matter what happened because he loved him too much to say anything else. 

ziyi, who he didn’t deserve, because even all these years later he stuck by him through all his terrible actions and mood swings and friendship changes and rise in popularity and drop in genuine friend count- 

who he didn’t love all the time despite always being loved back. because ziyi didn’t care if kun loved back, he just wanted to share his love with somebody, and that somebody was kun. because somebody had probably cursed ziyi to love somebody who was as out of touch as kun. ziyi who kun was trying to learn how to be a good boyfriend to. ziyi who was always there. 

and so they were getting better. 

linong was set to be on running man with them in a couple episodes, at the end of the season. and while he hadn’t talked to zhangjing and yanjun in a while, linong was fine. he was good. their friendship was safe. 

ziyi, who would text him good morning, and he would text the good night back 12 hours later no matter if they talked during the day or not. who he tried to learn to appreciate for who he was instead of comparing. who he went to in times of hardship, who he let cry on him when the world was too harsh. 

and maybe one day he could talk to zhengting again. because he knew it wasn’t zhengtings fault that the industry was so harsh and forced people apart, and that it wasn’t his fault he loved somebody else. because he knew that zhengting cared. it was just not like how a lover would, and much more like an older brother than anything else. 

and he would tell him how he was doing better, how he was growing up, and living for himself now. how he wasn’t living holding onto small hopes like before. and zhengting would hopefully smile and ruffle his hair like he would do to all his yuehuas, and tell him he was proud of him, and kun would smile thinking of ziyi, because he was always the reason to simile. 

and maybe he could start now. approach justin before their break ended and catch up. before they had to put on the image of happy groupmates who wouldn’t be separated by bad management, who would be together through this lifetime and the next. and maybe if they talked it would be more like a mask then a total other persona. because they could be themselves underneath. because it would all come with time, and kun was finally ready.

**Author's Note:**

> so i actually uploaded everything before, and then it wouldnt upload so i reloaded it and then all my stuff disappeared so once again i am rewriting this. anyways, i hope y'all enjoy this, i wrote this really quickly on my phone last night and edited it this morning, and its just a bunch of feelings. 
> 
> i'm actually starting a series, this work and my chengstin coffee shop au are both in it right now, and its pretty much just quick 1k word stories. if you have anything you want me to write comment below and ill gift the work to you when i write it, and it'll be apart of the work.


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